Against The Wind
by CaseyNovak16
Summary: When Castle goes missing during a case, Beckett goes out to find him, She unknowingly steps into a trap, leading to dire consequences. Will Castle be able to save her and when the worst thing imaginable happens will she let him in ? Read and please review
1. Stuck in a Moment and You Can't Get Out

Kate carefully unholstered her gun and peeked around the corner of the building. She cursed under her breath. There was Castle tied to a chair.

Helooked pretty badly beaten. There was one man, who was waving a gun around and shouting questions. She pulled out her cell phone. She was

about to call for backup, when she felt a sharp pain at the base of her skull and she fell to the ground. She could barely make out a silhouette of a

person before everything went black. When she woke up she had a splitting headache. She tried to move, then realized she was tied to a chair.

Her vision was still blurry as she tried to adjust her eyes to her surroundings. There didn't appear to be anyone else in the room, until she heard a

groan. She turned to find the source. When she did, the abrupt movment of turning her head caused the room to spin and made her naseous. She

was finally able to overcome the feeling of vertigo, and slowly turned her head. " Castle " she whispered, trying to get him to come to. " Castle " she

called out to him again. He finally began to stir. " Castle " she said, relieved that he wasn't dead. " Beckett " he said worriedly. " What the hell are

you doing here ? " he asked, sputtering out a small amount of blood. " Oh I don't know Castle, I thought that getting whacked in the head and tied to

a chair might be a nice change of pace " she said sarcastically. He laughed and another small amount of blood sputtered out of his mouth, and

coughed slightly. Then her demeanor changed. " Castle, are you okay " she asked worriedly. " Why, do I look bad ? " he asked. She hesitated a

second and forced a smile. " No Castle, you've never looked bette in your life " she said. " Good, cause I don't want to disappoint my fans " said

Castle trying to lighten the mood. " What do they want with you Castle " she asked. He hesitated, because he knew what he said would cause

Beckett to blame herself for the state he was in. " It's Dobbs and Carson, they wanted me to bait you " said Castle. " They told me to call you and

lure you into a trap " he went on. " I'm sorry Castle, it's all my fault " said Kate, lowering her head. " Don't you dare blame yourself Kate, it was my

decision, I wasn't about to risk your life,and I would make the same choice again " he said. " It Looks like a made a mess of things anyway " said

Kate. " Don't worry Kate, we'll get out of this, I promise " he said to her. " Don't make promises you can't keep Castle " she replied. She tried

struggling against the ropes again, but it was to no avail. Just then their captors came into the room.


	2. Freedom  Almost!

I Wouldn't struggle Detective Beckett, your efforts are futile " said Kurtland. " Let him go and I'll stay " said Kate. " You're in no position to be

making demands Detective " said Kurtland. He took the butt of his rifle and jammed it fiercely into Kate's stomach. She wheezed and tried to

catch her breath. She held back the tears that were threatening to fall. It was a difficult feat because the pain was almost unbearable. " Leave her

alone "Castle yelled at him. He turned to Castle. " Okay " he said kicking the chair that Castle was in, sending him toppling over. " Stop it " Kate

yelled. " Aw well isn't that just precious, they care about each other " said Kurtland. " We might be able to use that to our advantage " he went on.

"We've got to go for now, but don't worry, we'll be back real soon. said Kurtland. " With that, they left Castle and Beckett alone in the silence.

Castle was the first to speak. " Kate are you okay ? " he asked. " I'm fine " she lied through her teeth. Castle could tell by the sound of her voice

that she was not. " What about you " she asked. " Well I'm not loving being on the floor so much " he replied. " You shouldn't have said anything "

she told him. " I wasn't just going to sit by and watch quietly while they beat you " said Castle. " Well thanks, but it was still really stupid " she

replied. " I have a Swiss Army Knife in my back pocket, do you think you can get to it ? " she asked him. " Why Detective, are you trying to seduce

me ? " he asked." Castle " she said getting irritated with his childish demeanor in this type of situation. Still she couldn't help but smile to herself.

He painfully slid himself across the floor, chair and all. He got up right behind her and used what mobility he had in his hands to reach into her

pocket and get the knife. " You're enjoying this aren't you ? " she asked. " Maybe just a little " he replied. She just rolled her eyes. " Have you got

it yet ? " she asked. " Just one more second " he replied. Finally he was able to grasp his fingers around the knife. " Got it " he said triumphantly. "

Hand it to me " instructed Kate. He handed her the knife, and she managed to sever the ropes, but not before she cut her hand. She winced a

little and bit her lip to keep herself from crying out in pain. Next she hurriedly moved to her feet and began to cut the ropes until they broke. As

soon as she tried to stand up, it felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. She grabbed at her ribcage and fell forward. She caught herself

before she collided with the ground. " Kate " he said concerned. " I'm fine " she lied. Just gotta catch my breathe " she went on, trying to mask

the pain. Finally she pulled herself up and painfully made her way over to Castle withe knife. She lifted the chair upright, with difficulty. She quickly

began to cut the ropes binding his legs. They broke and she moved on to his arms. As she was doing this, she heard a door open. She started

to cut at an alarming rate, but she wasn't fast enough. Before she could finish freeing his arms, their captors came back in.


	3. Fighting For My Life

" Very clever Detective Beckett, now drop the knife and step away from him with your hands in the air " instructed Kurtland. " Now " he said loudly.

Kate threw the knife down stepped away from Castle as she was told. Kurtland started pulling her arms down in a n attempt to handcuff her. As

he did this, she made her move. She brought her heel down into his foot, jerked her arm from his grasp, and elbowed him in the gut. She tried to

get his gun but he was too strong. He threw her against the wall and she landed with a thud.

" You son of a bitch, keep your hands off of her, you touch her again and I'll kill you " screamed Castle angrily. Kurtland just smiled and laughed.

" Shut him up will you " he instructed Carson. Carson tied Castle up again and shoved a gag in his mouth. Kurtland pulled Kate up off the ground.

He held her up with one hand and sucker punched her with his other one. Castle protested through his gag and struggled against his restraints.

Kate ached so much, but she still fought back. She brought her knee up into his groin. He yelled in pain, but it didn't phase him enough to let her

go.

" You bitch " he said angrily. He shoved her into the wall, clasped one hand around her neck, and punched her. She gasped for air and could taste

the blood in her mouth. He punched her several more times and then let her slide to the floor. He wasn't done yet though. He kicked her in the ribs

and back several times, until Carson pulled him off of her. " That's enough, nobody's gonna want damaged merchandise " said Carson. Kurtland

then got in Kate's face, grabbed her head,and made her look at him. " You try that again and I will kill you " he angrily spat at her. He then let go of

her face and left her in a heap on the cold concrete floor.

" Search her then tie her up, and do it right this time Carson " instructed Kurtland. " Her big debut's coming up tomorrow and she needs her rest

" he went on. Castle was just about on the verge of tears. Carson searched through Kate's jacket and jean pockets and dragged her over to the

wall where Castle was. He then shackled her to the wall and left with Kurtland, leaving Castle and Beckett, who was now unconscious, alone in

the cold dark night.


	4. All Fall Down

After a while Castle managed to get the gag out of his mouth. He called out to Kate. He got worried after a couple of hours passed by and she

didn't stir. Finally he heard a muffled grown. " Kate " he called out relieved. " Castle " she managed barely in an audible whisper.

" Are you okay ?" he asked. There was no reply. " Kate " he called out again. " Castle I'm so tired " she mumbled. " I know but you need to stay

awake, you could have a concussion " he said.

Back at the precinct they were working another late night. " Hey Kevin have you heard from Beckett ? " asked Esposito. " No I've called her cell

at least six times and it keeps going straight to voice mail " said Kevin. " You don't think she went out looking for Castle by herself do you ? " he

asked Esposito. " Yeah, I do " said Esposito. " Man we've gotta find her, it's not like her not to call " said Kevin. " I'll tell Montgomery " said

Esposito. " I'll track her phone " said Kevin. They both went right to work.

Castle pleaded with her to stay awake, but it was no use. He sat alone in silence for the rest of the night. When morning broke, Castle turned his

head to see the extent of Kate's injuries. What he saw horrified and enraged him. Her lip was split open, she had a black eye, a bloodied nose, a

large bruise on each of her cheeks, and there was a bruise on her throat from where Kurtland had tried to strangle her. Also, from what he could

see, there was dried blood caked in her hair from where her head had collided with the wall, and that probably wasn't the worst of it. He heard

the door open and footsteps approaching. " Damn Kurtland, you really did a number on her " said Carson.

" Get her up " Kurtland snapped at Carson. Carson went over to Kate and unlocked the shackles. " She's still out, what do we do ?" asked

handed him a small bottle. Carson shoved it under Kate's nose and she came to. " Welcome back Detective Beckett " said

Kurtland. " Take her he instructed Carson. Castle could do nothing but watch as Carson roughly picked up Kate and tossed her over his

shoulder. She was so badly beaten and so weak, that she couldn't resist.

" What do we do about him ?" asked Carson. " Leave him, nobody will find him " replied Kurtland. Kate was carried out. To where, Castle didn't

want to think about. " Goodbye Mr. Castle, it's been a pleasure " said Kurtland, as he shut the door and followed Carson out. " You bastard,

leave her alone, I swear I'll kill you, you hear me your dead " yelled Castle.

Kevin rushed into Montgomery's office where the Captain and Esposito were talking. " Have you got something detective ?" asked

Montgomery. " I tracked Beckett's cell phone " said Kevin. " Let's go" said the Captain, as they all heade out.


	5. I Will Survive

**I appreciate the great reviews, with this being my first Castle fanfic. I know some of you have said it's hard to read because of the **

**spacing, but everytime I space the paragrphs out, they end up going back to how they were. I'm sorry if this poses a problem. **

**Anyway thanks for taking the time to read and review my story. Please continue to do so!**

**...**

They gassed it the whole way there. They parked about a mile down the road, so as not to spook anyone if there was any threat. They saw the

broken lock on the door, and on the Captain's signal they charged in. They searched the place. " All clear " they said in unison. " Over here "

called Esposito, who was untying Castle. " Castle where's Beckett ? " asked Montgomery.

" They took her " said Castle distraught. " They took her and I couldn't do anything to stop them " he went on. " Wait a minute Castle, slow down,

who took her ? " asked the Captain. " Kurtland Dobbs, and Carson Jones " said Castle. " We need to find Beckett now " said the Captain. " You

know this guy Dobbs " asked Kevin. " Yes and so do you, only you know him as just Kurt " replied the Captain.

And just like that it was like a light came on in his head. " The Jenna Dovek and Sasha Kramer rape/murders " said Kevin. " That's the guy " said

Montgomery. " He's on the FBI's most wanted list for human trafficking " the Captain went on. Castle made his way over to them. " So what's are

next move ? " asked Castle. There was still a speck of blood in the corner of his mouth. The Captain handed him a handkerchief. " There is no our

Castle, you're going to the hospital " said Montgomery.

" I'm fine, I need to find Beckett, I promised her I'd get her out of this and I'm not gonna let her down " replied Castle. "Castle this isn't up for

discussion " said the Captain. " With all due respect sir, I don't work for you and when I say I'm going to help find her then I'm damn well going to "

said Castle. " Well your not going to be much help in the state your in now, so at least let the paramedics check you out " replied Montgomery.

Finally he agreed and walked out to where the ambulance was.

The paramedics checked him over. " Well, Mr. Castle it appears that you have a couple of cracked ribs and a possible broken nose " said the

female paramedic. " I would advise you to go to the hospital for further treatment " she went on. " Well I appreciate the advice but I'll have to

respectfully decline " said Castle before heading back over to Ryan and Esposito.

" So what did they say Castle ? " asked the guys in unison. " They gave me a clean bill of health " he replied. " I don't believe that anymore than I

believe that Marilyn Monroe's murder was part of a government conspiracy, but a deal's a deal so let's go " said the Captain, who had just

walked up. They all went back to the precinct.

After being taken, Kate was locked up in the trunk of a car. She was out of it most of the way. When she came to again, she used what little

strength she had left to scream for help and pound on the trunk. " Let me out of here " she yelled, even though she knew they wouldn't. " Help "

she screamed. The car jolted to a stop and she slammed into the side of the trunk. Then she heard footsteps and the key turn in the lock.

Kurtland opened the trunk, reached down, and yanked her out.

" So you want help, I'll help you " he said as she landed on the ground. He grabbed her by the hair and dragged her toward their destination.

When they got in the building he yanked her up, put his gun to her head, and led her down a hallway. What she saw both horrified and disgusted

her.

...

**Any guesses on what will happen next. I thought I'd leave it on a cliffhanger until my next update for suspense. I will try to update **

**as soon as I can.**


	6. I Could Really Use a Wish Right Now

There were at least ten girls who she estimated must be between fifteen to twenty-one. They all looked strung out on drugs, most of them had

been beaten, and they were all were skinny and scantily clad. " Keep moving " barked Kurtland as he pushed her forward. Soon they walked into

a room at the end of the hall, where there were a couple of other girls. " Get her cleaned and fixed up " he ordered them. Then the two girls took

her into the bathroom. They asked her to sit down and began working on her. They started applying concealer to the abrasions on her face, and

wiping the dried blood from her lip.

" Ow " she winced. " Sorry " said the girl. " It's okay " said Kate. " I'm a detective, I can help you get out of here, but you gotta trust me " said

Kate." Don't you think we've tried to escape before ? " asked one of them rhetorically. " You have no idea what they're capable of " said the other

one. " Well I'm not gonna stick around to find out " said Kate. " Should we ?" asked one of the girls " She deserves to know " said the other.

They turned around and Kate couldn't believe her eyes. There were horrible scars all over their backs. " Oh my... " she couldn't even finish her

sentence because she was so horrified. " What caused those ? " she asked. " We tried to escape, but they caught us and whipped us " said one

of the girls." Stop chatting and hurry up in there " yelled Kurtland. They finished covering up the bruises, applied makeup, and fixed her hair,

which took some doing because of the blood that matted it. Then they exited the bathroom.

" Detective, you clean up nice " said Kurtland. " Go to hell " she spat. He chuckled, then grabbed her chin and got up in her face. " You first " he

replied. He took her to another room. " Go in there and change, and if you come out wearing any more than what's in there, you're going to wish

you were in hell , you got that, now go " he demanded. Kate went into a changing room. She saw a black lace bra, matching panties and

stockings, and a see-through robe. There was also a pair of black four inch high heels. She kept thinking to herself that there was no way that she

was going to walk out there in something that she only fantasized about Castle seeing. " But she was brought back to reality when Kurtland yelled

" Hurry up in there. " The plain fact of the matter was that she she didn't have a choice in this type of situation, so she did exactly what she was

told.

She hesitated walking out at first, but then realized that there was no forseeable way out of it. She then slowly walked out of the changing room.

Kurtland walked up too her and grabbed her by her wrists. " Very nice, Detective " he said leering at her. He let her go " Turn around " he

demanded. She did. " Mmm Mmm Mmm, very nice " he said. " Carson " he called to him. " Please take Detective Beckett somewhere more

comfortable " he said to him. " Right this way Detective " he said grabbing her by the forearm and shoving her ahead of himself. He led her to a

room in the very back. He pushed her onto the bed and handcuffed her right arm to the iron frame. " Rest up Detective, you're going to need it "

he said, sneering as he walked out of the room.

As soon as Carson left, she started to jerk the handcuffs as a reaction, even though she knew full well that they would not break. She couldn't

believe that she had gotten herself into this situation, that Castle had gotten himself beaten half to death because he would not lure her into a

trap, and that she had caused it all to be in vain because she had fallen into their trap anyway. She knew that proper protocol in this situation

would be to stay alert and awake, but the stress of the day combined with her head wound and the extensiveness of her other injuries caused her

to slowly drift off.

Back at the precinct, everyone was hard at work trying to find Kate. " Castle, do you remember anything at all ? " asked the Captain. Castle

thought really hard for a second. " I can't believe I didn't think about this " said Castle. " What " asked Montgomery. " I know cars, I heard a

distinctive engine sound " replied Castle. " So you could identify the vehicle ? " asked Montgomery. " I'd know it anywhere, It was Beckett's " said

Castle. " Isn't it required that all cars have GPS ? " asked Esposito. " Get a trace on it now " said Montgomery. " Good work Castle " said

Montgomery.


	7. I Run To You

**I didn't get any reviews on the last chapter, so i don't know whether people have lost interest or what, but I'm going to continue with **

**it. This chapter is kind of bad. Please don't hate me! And as always please review!**

When Kate woke up, she had no idea how much time had passed. She could hear voices outside and then footsteps approaching. Finally she

heard the key turn in the lock and the door swung was Kurtland. He leaned against the door frame and smiled evilly. He took of his

jacket and hung it on the back of a chair. Then he started to unbutton his shirt. " Relax Detective Beckett, you might even enjoy this " he said

walking towards her. At that moment she knew her situation was about to get a lot worse.

He uncuffed her from the bed, and before she could do anything, he wrapped the handcuffs around one of the metal bars of the bed frame,

grabbed her other wrist, and handcuffed it. Then he walked over to a chair and rummaged around in a bag. He pulled out what he was looking for.

They were restraints. He came back over to the bed and restrained each of her ankles to either side of the bed frame. " You won't get away with

this " said Kate. " Oh I rather think I will, Detective " he said throwing his shirt down.

He climbed on top of her and straddled her. He started to stroke her hair. She spit in his face. " You bitch " he cursed angrily and slapped her

hard across the face. He shoved a gag in her mouth and then trailed his hands down her sides. He began to untie the robe she was wearing and

slid it off her shoulders.

" Got it " exclaimed Kevin. " 357 Ashland, in Jersey " he went on. They all grabbed their coats and hurried out.

Kurtland started kissing her neck, and moved down her body. Then he started fondling her breasts. She pleaded into the gag, but it was to no

avail. He got off of her and she thought that he was finished, but then he pulled off his pants and got back on top of her. He moved his hands

down to her panties and pulled them down.

" Hurry " said Castle as they sped down the highway. " Castle I'm trying " said Kevin. Kate screamed into the gag, but knew that there was no

one there to help her. It became difficult for her to breathe because of the weight of his body that was putting pressure on her injured ribs. The

next few moments were part of a horrible nightmare. He forced himself into her over and over. Tears were streaming down her face. She

continued to scream for help, but it was muffled by the gag.

It went on for thirty minutes, but it felt like a lifetime to Kate. When he was done he pulled her panties back up. He got off of her and put his pants

back on. Just then Carson came running in. " The cops are coming man, I heard the sirens " said Carson. " Get everyone out now, I'll take care

of our detective " replied Kurtland. Carson left to do as he was told. Kurtland pulled out his gun. " Sweet dreams Detective Beckett " he said,

before pulling the trigger. She felt the bullet rip through her body, and then fell into darkness.


	8. Don't Let Go

At that very moment Castle, Esposito, Ryan and Montgomery pulled up, and jumped out of their vehicles. Esposito handed Castle his back-up

weapon. " Stay behind me Castle " said Esposito. They all went to the door, and on the Captain's signal they burst through the doors, guns

blazing

" NYPD, everybody freeze " they all yelled simultaneously. Kebin pulled out his cell phone and called for additional units, then he Esposito, and

Montgomery handcuffed all the criminals and took care of the girls. " Go find Beckett Castle, we've got things here " said Kevin. " Kate " he

called out as he made his way down the hall.

He heard something in the room at the end of the hall and burst in. He saw Kate on the bed and was immediately filled with disgust and

uncontrollable rage. Kurtland was zipping up his pants and had his shirt partially on. He turned around and was tackled to the ground by Castle.

" You son of a bitch " he yelled angrily. He started punching him. Then Kurtland got in a few punches. They scuffled for a while longer until Castle

pushed him, got up, and grabbed the gun that had flown out of his grasp earlier.

Just as Kutland was getting up, Castle pointed the gun right at his head. His hand was shaking and his finger was dangerously close to pulling

the trigger. He chuckled. " You think you have the balls to shoot me " said Kurtland. " You know Katie over there was really good, like the little

whore that she is " he said chuckling again. At that moment Castle snapped. He pulled the trigger. The bullet hit Kurtland in his left shoulder. The

team heard the shots, and Ryan and Esposito quickly sprung into action.

" Ahhh " Kurtland screamed. He grabbed at his shoulder. He still had this smug look about him. He laughed. " Not bad " Kurtland said. Castle

stood over him and pointed the gun right at his head. Esposito and Ryan got to Castle. They saw Beckett on the bed, and Esposito immediately

went over to her, while Ryan tried to coax Castle into putting the gun down. " Castle, come on man, put the gun down " he said. Castle ignored

him. He tried again. " I Can't do that Ryan, he deserves to die for what he did to her " replied Castle." I know Castle but you need to think about

Beckett, and Alexis, what are they gonna do if you go to jail for murder " said Ryan. " The first shot is justifiable, but if you pull that trigger again,

you're going down " said Ryan. Castle contemplated this for a second and finally dropped the gun. Ryan rushed in and handcuffed Kurtland, and

took him out.

Esposito felt for a pulse. There wasn't one. He quickly uncuffed her and undid the restraints holding her legs. He carefully picked her up and

layed her on the floor. Castle rushed over to them. " How is she ? " he asked. " No pulse " said Esposito. Castle started administering CPR.

" Come on Kate breathe " he pleaded as he continued chest compressions. " Damn it Kate, come on breathe " he said. After what seemed like

forever, he finally felt a faint pulse. " Kate " he said Relieved. " Castle " she said in a soft wheezy breath. She coughed and blood came out.

" Kate you're gonna be okay, help's on the way " he said reassuringly, wiping the blood from her lips. She started to fade into unconsciousness.

" No no no Kate hey hey stay with me " he said. He took off his jacket and pressed it against the gaping wound in her abdomen, and blood

started to seep out, covering his hands.

The wail of sirens could be heard. Ryan ran back in. " Ambulance is on it's way, how is she ? " asked Ryan. " She's losing a lot of blood " replied

Esposito. " It's here " yelled Montgomery. Castle carefully picked up Kate and quickly but cautiously carried her out to the awaiting

ambulance. Castle didn't want to let her go, but had to as the paramedics took her from his arms and lifted her into the ambulance. " Can I ride

along ? " asked Castle. " Yeah, just don't get in the way " said the female paramedic. Castle then jumped into the ambulance and they sped

away to the hospital. " Vitals " asked the male paramedic. " BP 60/90 and dropping, pulse is 65 and thready " replied the female. Castle

watched helplessly as they inserted an iv into her arm, put an oxygen mask over her nose and mouth, and tried to stop the bleeding. Just then

she flat lined. " She's crashing " yelled the female.

**Sorry to leave off on another cliffhanger, anyways hope you enjoy, and as always please review, Thanks!**


	9. You're Crashing but Your No Wave

They got the crash cart. " Kate " he said fighting back tears, and reaching out for her.

" Please move back " they said to Castle. " Charge to 100 joules." There was

nothing. " Charge to 150 joules. " there was still nothing. " Charge to 200 joules. "

" We've got a pulse " said the female medic. Then they were at the hospital. They

wheeled Kate into the hospital and down the hall with Castle hot on their heels. They

reached a pair of double doors. " I'm sorry sir, but you'll have to wait here " they

said to Castle. Castle knew there was no us in arguing and slid into a chair in the

waiting room.

It felt like hours before somebody finally came out. " Kate Beckett ? " inquired the

doctor. "He jumped up. " How is she doctor ? " he asked worriedly. " I'm afraid it's

not the greatest news I could give you " said the doctor. " Just give it to me straight "

said Castle. " Alright " said the doctor.

" Detective Beckett sustained a concussion, three broken ribs, various abrasions

and contusions, a bruised spine, and a dislocated shoulder " she replied. " She was

also sexually assaulted, and the bullet entered through the abdomen and lodged in

the spinal tissue, causing a significant amount of damage and blood loss " said the

doctor.

" She's gonna be okay though isn't she ? " asked Castle worriedly. " Well we

managed to stop the bleeding and got the bullet out, but the blood loss was

so significant, that she's going to need a transfusion " said the doctor. " She's in ICU

right now, and the next twenty-four hours ar crucial, if she makes it through the night

there's a better chance for recovery " said the doctor.

" There is one thing though, there's a chance that she may never regain use of her

legs " she continued. " Can I see her ? " asked Castle. " Of course but only for a little

while, she needs her rest " replied the doctor. " She's in room 108 " said the doctor.

" Thanks " said Castle before heading down the hall.

He slowly walked into the room. Then he saw Kate. He couldn't believe the state she

was in. She had tubes and wires attached to her and the bruises and cuts were

made very visible by the pallor of her skin. She just looked so lifeless laying there.

He pulled up a chair next to the bed and sat down. " Kate I'm so sorry " he said to

her fighting back tears. " I just can't help but cause problems " he went on.

He delicately brushed back a strand of hair. " You gotta hang on, you here me,

remember you don't let up and you don't back down and that's what makes you

extraordinary " he whispered to her. He sat by the bed and talked to her for a little

while longer until a nurse came in. " Sir I'm afraid you'll have to go now, we'll take

good care of her " said the nurse smiling.

He planted a kiss on Kate's forehead. " I promise I'll be back " he whispered. Then

he left and walked back into the waiting room where Lanie and the rest of the gang

were waiting. " How is she Castle ? " asked Lanie. " It's bad " replied Castle. He

walked past them and began to pace back and forth. Then without warning, he

punched the wall. Everyone was shocked because they had never seen Castle like

that. He pulled his hand back and his knuckles were bloodied. Lanie walked over to

him and grabbed his hand.

" Could one of you please help me ? " asked Lanie. Esposito went over to the

nurse's station and asked the nurse for some gauze and antiseptic. She handed

them to him and he took them back over to Lanie. She cleaned the blood of Castle's

hand with the gauze. " Ah " he cried out in pain. " Well hold still " said Lanie. " You

know that was pretty stupid Castle " said Lanie. " Please don't lecture me right now

Lanie " said Castle in a snappy tone.

" Do not get testy with me Castle, we are all worried about Kate, and injuring your

hand, or inflicting damage on that wall is not going to change what happened " she

said. Then came his hoarse voice. " I'm sorry " he said, his voice barely audible and

tears forming in his eyes. He got up and walked outside. Lanie started to go out

after him. " I got him " said Montgomery following Castle outside.


	10. Never Let Go

**Sorry It's taken me so long to update guys, I have a little writers block and have been busy with college, church, and my singing, but here goes the next chapter, hope you enjoy. P.S. and for those of you who hate josh, which is pretty much everybody, i'm sorry but I did include him.**

Castle was gulping in deep breaths and tears were streaming down his cheeks.

Snow had begun to fall pretty heavily. Montgomery put his hand on Castle's

shoulder. Castle jerked away from him. " You're going to catch your death out here "

said Montgomery reaching out to him again. This time he wouldn't let him escape

his grasp. Castle slid down to ground and Montgomery did as well.

The last thingCastle wanted was for anyone to view him as weak, but he couldn't

control the held him and Castle sobbed against his shoulder.

" Castle, listen tome, Beckett wouldn't want to see you like this, you've got to stay

strong for her " said Montgomery. Castle composed himself somewhat and nodded.

" Okay now, you ready to go back in ? " asked Montgomery. " You go ahead, I'll be

in in a minute " replied Castle. Then both of them got up. The Captain headed back

inside. Castle remained outside long enough for him to wipe away any remnants of

tears that he had previously shed, and to compose himself as best as he could.

He then headed back inside. " Hey man you okay ? " asked Ryan and Esposito.

" Yeah I just needed some air " replied patted him on the back. He went

over to Lanie. " I'm sorry " he said. She pulled him into a hug. " It's okay Castle " she

replied. " Someone should call her father " said Castle. " Already done " said Lanie.

" He's on his way, so's Josh " she went on. He honestly didn't want Josh to be there,

but knew that he couldn't do anything about it and that Josh had just as much right to

be there as he did. " Castle you should call Alexis and let her know you're alright "

said Esposito.

Castle walked back outside, and tugged his coat closely around himself then pulled

out his cell phone and dialed his home number. " Hello " answered Alexis right

away. " Hi sweetheart " he said. " Dad " she said surprised and relieved at the

same time. " Yeah it's me " he replied. " Gram, it's dad, he's on the phone " Alexis

yelled excitedly. Martha rushed in and took the phone from Alexis.

" Richard, are you alright darling, what the hell's going on ? " she asked him.

" Mother I'm fine, I'm at the hospital " he said. " How fine can you be if you're at the

hospital ? " she asked worriedly. " It's not me, it's Beckett " he said. " Oh my " said

Martha. " What happened ? " she asked. Castle hesitated a moment.

" Ricahard " said Martha. " She was beaten and shot " said Castle. " Oh my lord "

said Martha. She could tell that Castle was hiding something. " Richard, what are

you not telling me ? " she asked. " Mother please " said Castle. " Richard ? " she

inquired. " She was raped " said Castle. " Oh, how horrible " said Martha. " Mother

listen, I need you to bring me a change of clothes " he said. " Alright darling, Alexis

and I will be there shortly " said Martha. " Thanks, and mother, don't tell Alexis she

was raped " said Castle. " Alright Darling " she said. Then they both hung up.

. " Alexis sweetheart, we have to go " said Martha. " Why what's wrong ? " asked

Alexis. " Your father needs a change of clothes " replied Martha. " Where is he ? "

asked Alexis. " At the hospital " . " Is he okay ? " asked Alexis worriedly.

" Yes but something's happened toDetective Beckett " she replied. " Oh my God, is

she okay ? " asked Alexis. " Shewas shot " replied Martha, being very vague. Alexis

then helped Martha pick out a change of clothes and they headed out. Castle

headed back inside.

Just as he was walking back in he ran into Kate's dad. " Castle what happened ? "

he asked. Castle decided to be vague so as not to cause him anymore grief. " Kate

was shot " he replied. " How did it happen ? " asked Kate's dad. Castle had to think

quick, because he sure as hell didn't want to be the one to tell Kate's father that she

had been raped and beaten. " I wasn't there when it happened so I really can't tell

you that much " said Castle. Her dad saw the amount of blood on Castle's shirt. " Oh

my... Is that her blood ? " he asked, his voice cracking. He became a little

unsteady on his feet. Castle caught him. " I knew that this would happen one day, I

told her... " he sobbed into Castle's shoulder.

" I already lost her mother, I can't lose my little girl too " he cried. It broke Castle's

heart to see Kate's father hurting so much." Kate's a fighter, she'll get through this "

he said trying to reassure him and ease some of his pain. Yet, even as he said the

words, he didn't really know if he believed them himself. He helped Kate's father to

sit down. Just then Josh came running down the hallway. " What happened ? " he

asked.


	11. Time For Miracles

Castle didn't want to discuss it in front of Kate's father because he hadn't told him

the whole story. He took josh aside out of earshot of the others. " Tell me what's

going on " demanded Josh. " Kate was beaten and shot " he said. " What, what the

hell hapened? " asked Josh. " She walked into a trap and tried to free both of us

and they really did a number on her " said Castle. " Then they took her somewhere

else and that's when she was shot " said Castle. " Are you telling me everything ? "

asked Josh. " She was raped, Josh " said Castle.

Castle couldn't believe the reaction he heardc next. " Oh so she's damaged goods

now, great there goes my action " he said. The next thing Josh felt was Castle's fist

colliding with his face and the taste of blood in his mouth. " You son of a bitch "

Castle yelled. Then he was all over him. He punched Josh again and slammed him

into the wall.

Everyone heard the ruckus and came running to see what was going

on. Ryan and Esposito sprung into action. Ryan went for Josh as Esposito tried to

wrestle Castle off of Josh. " Castle bro, come on " said Esposito. He and Ryan

were finally able to pull them apart.

" You get your ass out of here " yelled Castle. " And stay the hell away from Kate "

he continued. " Why would I want her anymore, she's all use up " he said with a

smirk, wiping the blood from his nose. Castle tried to go at him again, but Esposito

held him back. Then Josh turned and left. " What'd he mean by that ? " asked Kate's

dad, who had witnessed the whole thing.

Castle knew that he had to tell him now, that there was no avoiding it. " I didn't tell

you everything " he said. Catle took a deep breath. " Kate was raped " he said.

This sent him into a frenzy again. " Oh my God, my little girl " he said breaking down

again, and going into hysterics. Lanie helped him back over to a chair and tried to

calm him down.

" Castle we gotta get back to the precinct, let us know if anything changes " said

Ryan and Esposito. " Yeah " said Castle. " Take it easy man " they said as they left.

Montgomery followed suit. " Yeah I gotta get back too Castle " said Lanie as she

kissed him on the cheek and followed the boys out. That only left Castle and Kate's

father. Castle set down beside him. After a convincing arguement, her father agreed

to go home and get some rest, and Castle promised that he would stay and look

after Kate.

Martha and Alexis soon appeared. " Dad " said Alexis running to him and hugging

him. " Hey sweetheart " he said. " I was so worried about you " she said. " I know,

but I'm okay " he said reassuringly. " You don't look okay, what happened to your

face ? " asked Alexis. " It's a long story " he replied. The truth was that he was okay

physically, but emotionally he was a wreck. Then she noticed the blood all over his

shirt. " Oh my... " Alexis didn't even have to finish her sentence. " It's Kate's blood "

he said. " Is she going to be okay ? " asked Alexis.

" I don't know sweetheart, I honestly don't know " he said clinging to his daughter.

" How did this happen ? " asked Alexis. Castle exchanged glances with his mother

wondering if he should tell her the whole story. " She came to save me, one thing led

to another, and here we are " he said, guilt washing over him yet again. " How bad

is it ? " she asked. He once again exchanged glances with Martha. " Alexis

sweetheart, why don't we..." said Martha before she was cut off. " No mother, she

deserves to know no matter how horrible it is " said Castle. " He turned his attention

back to his daughter. " She was beaten pretty badly, and um " castle gulped, tears

threatening to fall again. " She was raped, sweetheart " he said. " What, no, oh my

God " said Alexis. " Then they shot her " he said. Alexis burst into tears and buried

her head into her fathers shirt " Here's your change of clothes Richard " she said

handing them to him. " Thank's mother "said Castle. " I'm going to take Alexis home

" said Martha. " No, Grams I wanna stay here with dad " she said.

" I know sweetheart, but it's best if we leave, we'll come back tommorow I promise "

said Martha. " Okay " Alexis finally sobbed in agreement. " Goodnight dad " she

said. " Goodnight sweetheart he said kissing her cheek. " Come on kiddo " said

Martha. " Goodnight darling " said Martha. " Night Mother " replied Castle. Then she

and Alexis headed home. He went into the bathroom and changed his clothes, then

put his bloody ones into the bag. He figured they would probably need them for

evidence later.

He decided he was gonna stay with Kate that night no matter what anybody said.

He headed back down the hall to Kate's room. A nurse stopped him. " I'm sorry Mr.

Castle, but visiting hours ar over " said the nurse. " Really, well the police

commissioner is a friend, and so is the mayor,should I call them and tell them that

you're refusing to let me watch over one of New York's finest " said Castle pulling

out his cellphone. The nurse seemed a little frusturated with him, but then agreed to

let him stay. " Alright then, I'll bring you a blanket " said the nurse. " Thank you " said

Castle heading back into Kate's room.

She was still unconscious, laying there so still. If he didn't hear the slow constant

beeps of the heart moniter, and the sounds of the respirator, he could have sworn

she was dead. He pulled a chair up beside the bed. He took her hand in his and

softly whispered to her. " You gotta wake up, you've gotta come back to me Kate "

he said to her, pushing a piece of her hair away from her face. " You understand me,

I can't lose you " he said. He held tight to her hand and as the hours went by, slowly

drifted off to sleep. He was awoken by a tap on his shoulder. " Geez " he said

somewhat startled. " Relax bro it's me " said Esposito. " Here I thought you could

use this " he said handing him a cup of coffee. " Thank's man " said Castle.

" No problem " replied Esposito. " Any change ? " asked Esposito. " Not yet "

said Castle in a solemn tone. " But she will, she's got to " said Castle desperately

wanting to believe the words that he was saying.


	12. Note to God

" Castle, I don't know man " said Esposito, answering his question.

Castle changed the subject. " So is either of them talking ? " asked Castle referring

to Kurtland and Carson. " No, but we don't really need them too, not after what we

saw " said Esposito. " Plus with the rape kit, the bullet, and documented other

injuries, the case should be a slam dunk " said Esposito.

" Good " was all he said. " Listen maybe you should go home and get some rest "

said Esposito. " I'll rest when I know she's gonna be okay " he said. " Castle running

yourself down like this isn't gonna help either of you " said Esposito. " I know " he

sighed. " But I just can't leave her " he said. " I understand bro, believe me I do " he

said. " You love her " he said. " What, I... " Castle said acting surprised. " Come on

bro, everybody knows, and the truth is she loves you too, but Beckett's not one to

admit it " said Esposito.

" I just can't imagine my life without her " said Castle. " I don't know what I'm gonna

do if... if she ... " he said with solemness in his voice. " Bro, come on you can't

think like that " said Esposito. " What else am I suppossed to think about ? " he

asked. " This is as bad as it gets " he continued in a raised voice. " Calm down, I

know it's bad, okay Castle, but being positive is the only thing that's gonna get us

through this " he said. " Your right I'm sorry " replied Castle. " It's okay bro " said

Esposito.

Then Castle remembered his bloody clothes. He picked up the bag and handed it to

Esposito. " Figured you might want these for evidence " said Castle. " Thanks "

said Esposito. " I'm gonna get these back to the precinct, hang in there " he said

and turned to leave. Castle sat back down in the chair, and sipped his cup of coffee

as the thoughts ran through his head. He drifted off to sleep yet again. He

woke up when he heard Alexis's voice. " Dad " she said lightly tapping him on the

shoulder. " Oh, hey sweety " he said in a groggy voice. " How's you doing ? " asked

Martha. " The same " said Castle. " It's just awful " said Martha. " I'm going to stay

again tonight " said Castle.

" Richard, darling " she said. " Mother, please don't try to talk me out of it " said

Castle. " Well alright then " said Martha. " We knew you might say that, so we

brought you a couple of things " said Alexis. " Thank you sweetheart he said kissing

her forehead. " Well we can't stay, we just wanted to check on you " said Martha.

" Thanks mother " said Castle. " You betcha " she replied. " Alexis, come along

dear " she said. Castle wrapped Alexis in a hug, and then she followed Martha out,

once again leaving Castle alone with his thoughts. Other than the occasional nurse

that came into check on Kate, the rest of the night was pretty quiet. He held on to

Kate's hand and talked softly to her. Then he decided what Kate neede right now

was prayers.

Castle went down the hall to the chapel and sat in one of the pews. He started to

pray. " God please don't take her away from me, I need her more than the air I

breathe, and I think I'll cease to exist if I lose her " he said. His voice started to

crack. " I know that everyone has their time, but this isn't Kate's time, she has so

much more living to do, and I have to tell her how I feel, so please don't take her

away from me " he finished. Then he went back to Kate's room and fell asleep in the

chair.

The next morning he felt his hand being squeezed. At first he thought it was all just a

dream, but as he opened his eyes and looked down at his hand he saw Kate's hand

squeeze his own. his heart started to race with anticipation and relief.

" Kate, Kate can you hear me " he said hoping that she did. Then her eyes slowly

opened. " Kate " he said, his heart ready to beat out of his chest. She suddenly

started to panic because of the breathing tube down her throat. " It's okay, calm

down " he said caressing her cheek. " I'm gonna go get a doctor " he said. He

rushed out into the hallway. He spotted Kate's doctor. " We need someone in here

quick " he yelled alarming the doctor. " What is it ? " inquired the doctor. " She's

awake " said Castle.

The doctor quickly followed Castle back into Kate's room. She went over to Kate,

who was still freaking out somewhat. " Kate, Kate calm down, do you want the tube

out ? " she asked. Kate did her best to nod yes. " Okay, now just relax " she

instructed Kate. She quickly pulled the breathing tube out of her throat. " There now "

she said. Kate took in deep breaths. " Just breathe easy Kate " said Castle.

" Water " she mouthed. " Okay, just take it easy " said Castle. He grabbed the

pitcher of water from the bedsid table and poured Kate a cup of water. Then he

carefully lifted her head up and held the cup up to her lips for her to drink. Then

he sat the cup back down and slowly let her head drop back into the pillow.

" Thanks Castle " she said hoarsely. " Always " he said smiling. " The doctor pulled

out a tiny flashlight out. " Okay Detective, just follow the light " she said. She shined

the light into Beckett's right eye and moved the flashlight back and forth and up and

down. Kate followed it. Then the doctor did the same with her other eye. Again Kate

followed. " Okay, good, there doesn't appear to be any brain damage, or any

damage to the optic nerve " said the doctor.

"Thank God " said Castle. " Were gonna give you some morphine for the pain, okay

Detective " said the doctor. " No " said Kate. " What ? " asked the doctor. " I don't

want it, I want to be lucid " said Kate. " Detective Beckett, I must strenuously object,

with a gunshot wound of this caliber, and given it's anatomical position, the pain will

be excruiating at times " said the doctor. " I don't want it " Kate repeated. " Alright,

but if the pain becomes to much to handle, let me know " said the doctor. Kate just

nodded. " Alright then I'll leave you two alone " said the doctor as she exited the

room.

Castle sat back down in the chair and ran his fingers over his hair and sighed.

" Don't you ever scare me like that again, you hear me " he said to her. " I'll try " she

said hoarsely. The he saw her eyes get wide. " Castle " she said scared and

grabbing his shirt. " I...I can't feel my legs " she said horrified. " Why can't I feel my

legs ? " she asked. Castle heart felt like it would break, when she asked him that.


	13. You'll Never Be Alone

He wanted to just turn and run away, but knew that he couldn't. He took her hand in

his. " When you were shot, the bullet lodged in your spine, and their was nerve

damage " said Castle. " What are you saying, Castle ? " she asked. " Kate " he

said, hoping that she wouldn't make him continue. " Castle " she said. " The doctor

said that the damage was pretty bad, and that you might not have use of your legs

again " he said. " What, no " she said starting to tear up. " I'm so sorry " he said on

the verge of tears himself. " This can't be happening " she said painstakingly.

" Kate, you've gotta be positive, there's still a chance..." she cut him off. " A

chance that what, Castle, that I won't be crippled for the rest of my life, you and I

both know how these things go, permanent paralysis is more likely than not " she

said with pain and anger somewhat prevelant in her voice. " Kate, you don't know

how much I wish I could change what happened, but I can't " said Castle. " But I do

know one thing, no matter what it takes or how long, I'm not going anywhere, I'm

gonna help you get through this, and that's a promise I intend to keep " he said.

Tears were now running down Kate's face. Castle took his hand and wiped them

away. " Th...thank you Ca..Castle " she sobbed. " You don't need to thank me, it's

all my fault that this happened " he said. He had to turn his face away from her.

" Castle look at me " she said. " Look at me " she said again. " He turned back

around. " Don't you ever say that again, you hear me " she said. " But Kate if it

wasn't for me going rogue and trying to do things by myself, you never would have

had to save my ass, and this wouldn't have happened " he said. " Listen to me, I

chose to save you Castle, you didn't force me too, it was my decision, and if I had to

do it again, I would have made the same decision " she said. Then a wave of pain

shot through her body.

She gritted her teeth and exhaled heavily. " Kate " he said worriedly. " I'm gonna get

the doctor " said Castle. " No Castle, she said grabbing his shirt to stop him. " Kate

I'm not just gonna sit here and see you in pain " said Castle. " Castle, I don't want to

be doped up on painkillers " she said. " But Kate " he said. " Castle " she said.

" Okay " he sighed and sat back down. He grabbed her hand and planted a kiss on

it. " I'll be back, I'm gonna call everyone and let them know your awake " he said.

She clung to his hand. " Not yet Castle " she said. " Kate they deserve to know, so

they can be put at ease " said Castle. " Please " she said. " Just hold me " she said.

" As long as you want me too " said Castle.

He carefully got into to the bed next to her and put his arm around her. She rested

her head on his shoulder and after awhile, they both fell asleep.


	14. I Know a Heartache

Martha and Alexis walked into the room and smiled at the sight they saw before

them. "Ssh Alexis, you'll wake him " said Martha. But Castle heard them talking. "

He slowly opened his eyes and yawned somewhat loudly, though not meaning to "

Ssh Richard, you'll wake her " scolded Martha. " Mother " he said startled.

He tried to carefully maneuver his arm from around Kate, but he had know such

luck. Kate started to stir. " Look what you've done Richard, you woke her up " said

Martha. " In my defense, I pretty much lost all the feeling in my arm " he said. " That's

no exscuse Richard " she said. " Umm, can't a person get any sleep around here "

said Kate yawning. " Oh, were so sorry dear " said Martha. " Kate I didn't mean to

wake you " said Castle. " Relax Castle " said Kate. " Oh my dear, we were so

worried about you,oh can I hug you " said Martha. " Mother " said Castle. " Relax

Richard, I'll be gentle " said Martha.

" Aw, come here Martha " said Kate. She did her best to try and sit up in the bed,

but couldn't by herself. " Here let me help you " said Castle. He carefully and

delicately helped her to sit up. Martha wrapped her in a gentle hug. " Darling, I'm so

glad your alright " said Martha. " Thanks Martha " she said. Then they all heard soft

sobbing. They turned to Alexis. " Alexis sweetheart what's... " before he could finish

his sentence, Alexis ran over to Kate, and threw her arms around her neck. Martha

rubbed circles on her back as she sobbed against Kate's neck. " I was so scared

that we'd lose you " sobbed Alexis.

" It's okay Alexis, I'm not going anywhere " said Kate. She took her arms from

around her neck. " You okay now kiddo ? " asked Martha wiping the tears from her

eyes " Yeah " said Alexis. " Why don't we go get something to eat, huh " said

Martha. " Alright " said Alexis. " Richard darling do you want something to eat ? "

asked Martha. " No mother , I' m fine " replied Castle. "Kate what about you dear ?"

asked Martha. " No thank you Martha, I'd probably just throw it up anyway " said

Kate. " Well alright then, come along Alexis " said Martha as she and Alexis headed

to the cafeteria.

" Does she know what happened ? " asked Kate. " I had to tell her, she was asking

alot of questions " said Castle. Beckett sighed. " Your dad came by the other day,

while you were still out of it " said Castle. " I sent him home though, told him I would

call if anything changed " said Castle. " He doesn't know does he ? " asked Kate

because the last thing she wanted her father to know was that she had been raped.

" I tried to be as vague as possible, because I didn't want to upset him even further "

said Castle. " He sort of found out " said Castle. " Castle, what do you mean he sort

of found out ? " asked Kate. Castle figured he would have to explain Joshs's

absence later anyway so he decided to divulge the truth.

" Josh came by too, and I told him what had happened, and he um... he said some

things, and I kind of lost it " said Castle. " What things ? " asked Kate. " Kate don't

make me " he said hoping that she wouldn't force him to tell her all the horrible

things that Josh had said about her. " Castle, what things ? " she asked again

getting impatient. " When I told him you were raped, he said so she's damaged

goods now, there goes my action " Castle said painstakingly. " And he said why

would I want her anymore, she's all used up " Castle painfully continued. It was

breaking his heart having to realy those horrible words to Kate. Castle could see the

tears forming in Kate's eyes that she was trying so desperately to hide. " The next

thing I knew I was punching him, and I slammed him into the wall; everyone heard

the ruckus and Ryan and Esposito had to break it up " he said.

" I would have killed him Kate, I swear, right then and there " said Castle. " Anyway

your father heard Josh say those things and he asked me what he meant by that,

and then I had to tell him, I'm sorry " said Castle. "It's... it's alright " Castle she

sighed." He probably would have found out later anyway " said Kate. " You know

what Castle, I must be a damn fool " said Kate. " Kate don't say that " said Castle.

" No, it's true, I always fall for the wrong guy, I try to make it work because I'm afraid

of ending up alone, but in the end the whole relationship just crashes and burns "

said Kate. " You shouldn't blame yourself Kate, Josh is the one who's a damn fool

and a real jack ass " said Castle. That forced somewhat of a smile onto Kate's face.

She let out a small teary chuckle. " Thanks Castle, you know you may be a real pain

in the ass sometimes, but you always know the right words to say " she said

real jack ass " said Castle. That forced somewhat of a smile onto Kate's face. She

let out a small teary chuckle. " Thanks Castle, you know you may be a real pain in

the ass sometimes, but you always know the right words to say " she said. "Yeah I

guess I do, but it's all true " said Castle smiling.

the ass sometimes, but you always know the right words to say " she said

real jack ass " said Castle. That forced somewhat of a smile onto Kate's face. She

let out a small teary chuckle. " Thanks Castle, you know you may be a real pain in

the ass sometimes, but you always know the right words to say " she said.


	15. What a Day

Castle wanted so desperately to tell her everything he felt. "Kate...I " he was

interrupted by the sound of his cell phone going off. He mentally kicked himself

for not turning it off or putting it on vibrate. " Yeah, Castle " he answered. " Hey bro

how is she ? " asked Esposito. " She's awake now, has been for a while " said

Castle. " Hang on a minute bro " said Esposito. " What is it ? " asked Ryan. " She's

awake " replied Esposito. Castle heard rushed footsteps on the other end of the line

and then he heard Ryan. " Captain, Beckett's awake " he said. Then Esposito got

back on. " We'll be there soon " said Esposito then he hung up. Castle put his

phone back in his pocket.

" I take it that was Esposito " inquired Kate. " Yeah they're all on they're way, sorry I

know your probably not up for a lot of company " he said. " It's okay Castle, you were

right, I shouldn't shut them out, It wouldn't be fair if i just let you visit, now would it "

said with a small smile forming in the corners of her lips. Then another wave of pain

shot through her. " Umm " she grunted in pain. " I'm gonna call them back and tell

them not to come said Castle. " No, besides they're probably already on their way,

It'll get better " said Kate reassuringly. Castle, however knew that it wouldn't, not for

awhile anyway, but he respected her wishes. "Can you get me some water Castle?"

asked Beckett. " Sure " he said pouring her another cup from the pitcher, which had

recently been refilled with fresh water. He handed it to her and she drank it eagerly.

Castle took the cup from her and sat it back on the bedside table." All better ? " he

asked. " Yes, thank you Castle " she said. " No problem " he replied. Then they

heard footsteps and chatter coming down the hall. " Get ready, one, two, and... "

said Castle. Then Ryan, Esposito, Lanie, and Montgomery walked in. Three Castle

thought silently to himself. Lanie rushed over to Kate. " Girl, don't you ever scare me

like that again " said Lanie hugging her. Kate forced a smile through the pain that

she was trying so desperately to mask. Ryan and Esposito came over to her.

Esposito had a giant teddy bear in his arms and Ryan had a balloon boquet and a

vase of flowers.

" Aw you guys " she said. Esposito sat the bear down in an empty chair. He gave

her a quick hug. There were so many balloons that they obstructed her view of

Ryan's face. " Ryan are you in there somewhere ? " she asked jokingly. " See dude

I told you that was too many balloons " said Esposito. " Hey, I just wanted to cheer

her up " said Ryan. He set the balloon boquet on the floor beside the bed, and

handed Castle the vase, which he then sat on the bedside table.

" Come here Ryan " she said. He bent down and hugged her. " Thanks " she said.

" Beckett, glad to see your awake " said the Captain. " Um " she grunted in pain, no

longer able to keep it under control. " Thank you sir " she said. " Everything okay ? "

asked Montgomery. " Just peachy sir " replied Beckett with some disdain in her

voice. He turned to Castle. " Aren't they giving her any pain medication ? " asked

Captain Montgomery. Beckett gave Castle her best don't you dare look. " Um " he

said. " Well ? " asked the Captain. Castle knew Beckett would kill him later, but he

decided to tell the Captain. " She refused it " said Castle. Lanie spoke up. " What,

girl are you crazy ? " asked Lanie.

" Beckett " said the Captain. " Look I just didn't want to be doped up on painkillers,

I wanted to stay lucid " said Kate. " Beckett you are going to take your meds " said

the Captain. " But sir, you can't... " he cut her off mid-sentence. " Yes I can, this

happened while you were on the job, so I have the authority " he said. " But sir " said

Kate.

" But nothing, am I clear " he said. " Yes sir " she sighed in defeat. " Good,

well were going to get out of here and let you rest, take care " he said. They all said

their goodbyes, leaving Kate and Castle alone yet again. About that time Martha

and Alexis came back from the cafeteria. " Kate dear, may I still him away for a

moment ? " asked Martha smiling. " Of course Martha " replied Kate. Martha

ushered Castle into the hallway. " Richard darling, Alexis and I have been talking

and we'd like Kate to come and stay with us while she's recovering " said Martha.

" I agree mother, I wouldn't have it any other way " said Castle.


	16. Thank You

While Castle was out in the hall talking to Martha and Alexis. A nurse went into

Kate's room. " Can you give me something for the pain ? " asked Kate. " Of course

I'll be right back " she said. She came back into the room and produced a syringe

filled with morphine. The nurse then injected it into the tube leading to the iv. " Alright

now just relax, it should take effect in a few minutes. Castle said his goodbyes to his

daughter and mother.

He went back into the room. " Kate, I " he began, wanting to tell her what he

wanted so desperately to say earlier. Then he saw that Kate was asleep. He

decided to go talk to her doctor. He spotted her taking a break. He walked over

and sat down. " Mr. Castle " she greeted him. " Doctor, when will Kate be released

from the hospital ? " asked Castle. " Should be within the next day or two if she feels

up to it, and If I believe she's ready " replied the doctor. " She's going to need

constant care and supervision, and she'll have to come to physical therapy 2 to 3

times a week in order for her to have any hope of walking again " said the doctor.

" I've got that covered, she's going to come stay with me and my family " said

Castle.

" That's very kind of you Mr. Castle, I'm sure she'll appreciate that " said the doctor

smiling. " You'll need to sign some release forms, as will she but we'll get that

squared away in the next couple of days " said the doctor. " Thank you " said

Castle shaking the doctor's hand. His stomach started growling. He decided to go

to the cafeteria to get something to eat. He didn't finish all of it because he wasn't

partial to hospital food.

He went back into Kate's hospital room and she was still sleeping. He decided to

call her dad. It rang a couple of times and then her father answered. " Hello " he

answered. " It's Richard Castle " said Castle. " Did something happen, is Kate

alright " asked her dad. " Yes, in fact, that's why I called you, she woke up

yesterday " said Castle. " Why didn't you call ? " asked her dad. " I'm sorry sir,

but she was very emotional, and I didn't want you to see her like that " said Castle.

" Oh, I suppose you were in the right then " replied her dad. " You should come by

tomorrow and see her, I'm sure she would love that " said Castle. " I...I don't know,

I don't know what I'm gonna say to her " he said. " Just hug her and tell her that you

love her, that's all you can do " said Castle. " Thank you " replied her father. " You

know, your good for her, she might not admit it, but you are, I'm glad you're her

partner " said her dad. " I...um...thanks " said Castle. " Yeah " said her dad.

" Goodnight " said her dad " Goodnight sir " said Castle, then he hung up.

He just sat there for awhile and watched her sleep, watching the slow rise and fall of

her chest, hoping that this wasn't a dream, that he wouldn't wake up and find that

she had actually slipped away. After about an hour he drifted off to sleep. He was

awoken by the sound of Kate's voice. " Mmm, Castle " she mumbled. " Hey sleepy

head " he said softly, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. " What time is it ? "

asked Kate. Castle looked down at his watch. " About 9:30 a.m. " he said. " I can't

believe I slept for that long " said Kate. " That morphine must be some good stuff

huh " said Castle smiling.

" Yeah it is " said Kate, jokingly. Then she got more serious. " Castle, I just wanted

to thank you " said Kate. " For what ? " asked Castle. " For caring, for making me

realize that I'm only human, and most of all for being there " said Kate. Castle knew

that Kate was never one to wear her heart out on her sleeves, but here she was

opening up to him. " I'll always care, and I'll always be there for you no matter what "

said Castle reassuringly . He bent down and planted a kiss on her forehead. Then a

nurse came in with a tray. " I brought you some breakfast, if you think you're stomach

can handle it " said the nurse.

" Can't hurt to try " said Kate. The nurse then sat it

down on the bed table, and left the room. " Hospital food isn't exactly the best kind

of food to try out on when you've just been shot in the stomach " said Castle. " No it

isn't, but I'd rather not starve to death " said Kate. " Castle helped her to sit up once

again. She tried to get as comfortable as possible, and began to eat.

She didn't eat much, before she put the lid back on the tray and leaned back into the

pillow. " Is that all you're gonna eat ? " asked Castle. " Yeah, my stomach's feeling a

little queasy " said Kate. " Okay " said Castle. Then they heard footsteps coming

down the hall. Kate's dad slowly entered the room with a boquet of flowers. " Castle,

can you give us a minute ? " asked Kate. He looked from Kate to her father. " Sure "

he said giving her a peck on the cheek, he nodded to Kate's father, and then exited

the room.


	17. Give Me Strength

" Dad " said Kate. " Katie " , he said rushing to her and hugging her.

He didn't want to upset her, but he broke down and started to cry. "

Dad, please stop crying " she said starting to choke up. " I'm sorry

Katie, I'm just so happy, that your alive " he said. " That makes two of

us " said Kate trying to lighten the mood a little. " I love you so much

" said her dad through his tears.

" I love you too dad " said Kate. He laid the flowers in a chair. "

Kate... " began her dad. " I know what you're gonna say dad, and I

can't " said Kate. " But, Kate after what has happened how can you

even think about going back to the force ? " asked her dad.

" Because dad it's my job and I have to help people, that's just who I

am " said Kate. " I know, and that's what scares me " said her dad. "

Your so much like your mom, and she wanted to help people and

change the world too, and look where it got her " he said. " Dad that's

not fair " said Kate starting to tear up. " You we're lucky this time, I

don't wanna get another call saying your dead, I couldn't take it " said

her dad.

" Dad, I don't want to hurt you " said Kate, her voice

cracking. " I know, I didn't mean to upset you, I'll go " he replied. " No

dad please don't " said Kate. " I think it would be best, you need your

rest and your in good hands " he said. He kissed her on the forehead

and left, saying goodbye to Castle on the way out.

Kate leaned back in her pillow and sighed. Castle slowly walked back

into the room. " Hey " he said. " Hey " she said back. " You okay ? "

asked Castle. " Yeah " she said in some what of a whisper.

" Did you hear all of that ? " she asked him. " Not if you didn't want

me to " said Castle. " I just can't believe he would even ask me to

consider leaving the police force " said Beckett. " Well he's just

worried about you Kate " said Castle. " I know that, but how could he

try to guilt me into it like that by bringing up my mom " said Kate.

" He's just hurting Kate, you have to remember that you're all he has

left " said Castle. " I know " said Kate.

" He may not have to worry about it, I'll probably have a desk job the

rest of my career anyway, I can't very well run after suspects

anymore " said Kate. " Kate you don't know that " said Castle. " Look

Castle, I appreciate you trying to be optimistic, but please stop " said

Kate. Castle got quiet. Then Kate instantly felt bad about the way she

had snapped at him. " Castle, I'm sorry " she said. " It's okay " he

said.

" No it's not, what happened doesn't give me the right to be a bitch to

you " said Kate. " Kate, don't say that, you're hurting and I completely

understand " said Castle. " Why do you do that Castle ? " asked

Kate. " Do what ? " inquired Castle. " Everytime somethings wrong,

or when I snap at you, you always just take it and then you say

something that just makes it all okay " said Kate.

" Well you know that's just the kind of guy I am " said Castle

sarcastically. " And then a serious moment gets ruined by that

twelve year old again " said Kate with a smile forming on her face.

Then she let out a chuckle. " Ow, it hurts to laugh " said Kate. "Sorry"

said Castle laughing too.

Just then the doctor walked in. " So doctor, when do I get to get out

of here ? " asked Kate. " Well if you you feel up to it, you can be

released to tomorrow " said the Doctor. " Great, it'll be nice to go

home " said Kate. " Well, you can't go home at least not by yourself "

said the doctor. " I was under the impression that you were going to

be staying with Mr. Castle " said the doctor. " What ? " asked Kate.

She looked at Castle. " Is that a fact " she said still looking at him.

" Well...I...um " said Castle. " Relax Castle " said Kate. " So your

okay with this ? " asked Castle. " Do I have a choice ? " asked Kate.

" Nope " said Castle. " Then yes, I guess I'm okay with it " she said.

" Well glad that's all settled " said the doctor. " I'll bring the release

forms by around twelve pm tomorrow " said the doctor as she exited

the room. " Castle " she said. " Yeah " said Castle. " I really can't

thank you enough, but I don't have to stay with you if it's an

inconvenience " said Kate. " Are you kidding, I wouldn't have it any

other way, plus it would be my pleasure " said Castle smiling.

" Thanks, really " said Kate. " No problem " said Castle.

" Are you sure Alexis and Martha are okay with it ? " asked Kate.

" To tell you the truth, they were the ones that came up with the idea "

said Castle. " I'll have to thank them " said Kate. " So tell me Castle,

what sort of trouble has Nikki Heat gotten herself into this time ? "

she asked. " I actually haven't been writing much lately " said Castle.

" Oh come on Castle, you've gotta have something " said Beckett.

" Well I do have a few pages " said Castle. " Would you read them to

me ? " asked Kate. " Sure " said Castle. He reached into his jean's

pocket and pulled out a wad of folded up paper. " That's an

interesting place to keep book pages " said Kate. " They're mostly

just notes " said Castle. Kate just smiled. He unfolded the sheets of

paper and began to divulge his ideas for the newest Nikki Heat

novel.

Before they knew it, several hours had gone by and it was already

two p.m. " Wow Castle, for once I wasn't completely bored with your

books " said Kate. " Hey " he said pretending to be offended. " I'm

just kidding Castle " said Kate. " Good " he replied.

He started to yawn. " Are you tired Castle ? " asked Kate, although

she already knew the answer. " Just a little, but I'm fine " said Castle.

" You look like you haven't slept in days " said Kate, " I've slept " said

Castle. " What, in that chair, that can't be comfortable " said Kate. " I

manage " said Castle. She thought to herself for a minute about what

she was about to propose to him, and finally decided that he

deserved a break. " Tell you what Castle, how bout I let you sleep

here tonight " said Kate.

" Kate you don't have to, I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable "

said Castle. " Didn't your mother tell you never to argue with a

woman, especially an injured woman " said Kate. " I do have one

condition though, no funny business " said Kate. " Scout's honor "

said Castle holding his hand up.

Kate moved over as much as she could. " Umm " she grunted in

pain. " You okay ? " asked Castle. " Yeah " said Kate. Castle climbed

into the bed beside her and made himself as comfortable as

possible. They layed their and talked until about six p.m. and then

they both drifted off to sleep.

Castle woke up around four a.m. He got up very carefully so as not

to wake Kate. He pulled out a notepad and pen from the bag that his

mother had brought him. He started to write. Then around eight a.m.

he heard a soft yawn. " Hey " he said.

" How long have you been up ? " asked Kate. " About four hours "

said Castle. " What time is it ? " she asked. " About ten after eight "

said Castle. " Geez Castle, I never would have figured you for an

early riser " said Kate. " I'm not usually, just decided to do some

writing " said Castle.

" I figured you'd be a light sleeper with you being a cop and all "

said Castle. " You didn't even stir, when I got up " he continued.

" Yeah well I usually am, that medicine just totally whacked out my

sleep cycle " said Kate.

" I am so ready to get out of here " said Kate. " Be patient, you still

got a couple of hours to go " said Castle. " Castle, have you ever

known me to be patient ? " asked Kate.

" Is that a rhetorical question ? " asked Castle. She gave him an evil

look. He flashed his best don't hurt me smile. " You want me to turn

on the t.v. ? " asked Castle. " It doesn't matter, anything to make the

time pass by quicker " said Kate. Castle found the remote and

flipped on the t.v.

The news was on. " In other news Kurtland Anderson, the head of a

major human trafficking organization was arrested just a few short

days ago. " Anderson who has been on the FBI's and Interpol's

most wanted lists, was arrested after the kidnapping, assault, and

subsequent rape and attempted murder of a New York City Police

Officer " said the news anchor.

" Turn it off Castle " said Kate feeling ashamed and embarassed at

the same time. Castle fumbled with the remote. " The officer in

question is homicide detective Kat... " Castle cut off the t.v.

He then turned and looked at Kate, afraid of what the expression

on her face might hold. He could see the pain in her eyes and he

could tell that she was trying so desperately not to cry. There was an

akward silence for a moment, then she spoke up. " How did they get

that information ? " asked Kate rhetorically as her voice cracked.

" Kate I... " Castle began. " Great now the whole damn city knows

what happened, I've never been so humilated and embarassed in

my entire life " said Kate. " I'm sorr... " he got out before she cut

him off. " Castle, I just need to be alone right now " said Kate. " But

Kate " he said. " Castle go " she said in anger.

" Okay " said Castle. He got up and left the room. He just walked

around for about an hour , hoping it would give Kate time to relax. He

walked down the street to get a cup of coffee. He went back to the

hospital an hour later.

He slowly walked back into her room. She was asleep again, so he

just quietly sat down and tried to write some more. At about eleven

p.m. Kate woke up. She saw Castle sitting there lost int thought.

Then he noticed her. She was about to apologize to him for earlier,

but before she could, he spoke up.

" You don't have to say anything, it's okay " said Castle. She forced

a weak smile. Just then Lanie unexpectedly walked in. " Lanie what

are you doing here ? " asked Kate. " Castle called me, I figured you

might be needing some clothes since they're letting you out of the

joint today " said Lanie jokingly. " Thanks girl, I appreciate it " said

Kate.

" No problem " said Lanie. " I gotta run, but I'll catch you later, oh and

I told the guys to come by later to get the flowers and such " said

Lanie. " Thanks, Bye " said Kate. " See Ya " said Castle. Then Castle

thought to himself. " Uh Kate " said Castle. " What ? " asked Kate. "

How exactly do you plan on getting into your clothes ? " he asked. "

Oh no writer boy you are not gonna get that lucky " said Kate. " I, I

wasn't implying that... " he said. " Sure you weren't Castle " she said

flashing him a smile.

She hit the call button, and a nurse came in and helped her get out of

the bed and into the bathroom, and then helped her into her clothes.

Then the doctor came into the room with a wheelchair and the nurse

helped Kate into it.

" So are you all set ? " asked the doctor. " Am I ever " said Kate.

" Alright then, here are the release forms " said the doctor. Kate and

Castle both signed them. " Alright, now I wrote you a perscription for

some pain medication and you'll have to come back in about a month

to get your stitches out, in addition you'll have to come in twice a

week for physical therapy " said the doctor. " And I'm not promising

anything, but if you build up your strength and work really hard, there

is a possibility that you'll regain use of legs " said the doctor.

" Thank you " said Kate. " Good luck " said the doctor. " Thanks "

said Kate. " Ready ? " asked Castle. " Yeah " said Kate. He put his

notepad and pen back in his bag and slung it over his shoulder. Then

he gripped the wheel chair handles and wheeled Kate out.

They took the elevator down and he wheeled her out the front

entrance. He hailed a taxi cab. The cab driver noticed the situation

and got out to help. Kate put her arms around Castle's neck and he

carefully lifted her into his arms and helped her into the cab. Then

the cabbie popped open the trunk, folded the chair and put it in.

Then he and Castle got into the cab. Castle gave him his address

and the were on their way.


	18. You Gotta Be

They cab came to a stop outside of Castle's place. Castle got the

wheelchair out of the trunk and then helped Kate out of the cab and

into the chair. He payed the cab driver and then wheeled Kate into

his building. They took the elevator up to his loft. He put the key in

the door and wheeled Kate inside.

Then they both heard the sound of footsteps on the stairs and Alexis

came into view. " Dad, Kate " she yelled as she ran over to them and

hugged her dad and then Kate. " Alexis sweetheart, aren't you

supposed to be in school ? " asked Castle. " Well Gram said I could

stay home, since detective Beckett was getting out of the hospital

today, are you mad " said Alexis.

" No, I'm not mad " said Castle. " Where is your grandmother ? "

asked Castle. " She went out to get something for dinner tonight "

said Alexis. " Good " said Castle. " Well I'm going to get her settled

in " said Castle. Just then Martha came in. " " Hello, hello " said

Martha. " Kate, dear " she said going over to her and hugging her.

" Mother. you're not cooking are you ? " asked Castle. " Heavens no

darling, Alexis has graciously volunteered to cook supper tonight "

said. "Good " said Castle.

" Alexis why don't you get started on dinner I'll help you " said

Martha. " Alright " said Alexis as she and Martha headed into the

kitchen. " That was a close call, the last thing we needed was to get

food poisoning " said Castle. " Oh come on Castle, I'm sure her

cooking isn't that bad " said Kate.

" Really, when I was ten years old I played soccer, I had the whole

team over for my birthday; Long story short, she tried to bake a cake

and the whole team ended up getting food poisoning " said Castle.

Kate couldn't help but laugh at that. " Castle, I told you not to make

me laugh " said Kate. " It hurts " she said. "Sorry " he said. " So I

imagine you probably want to get settled in " said Castle. Kate

smiled. " Well I figured I'd let you use my room " said Castle.

" Castle you really don't have to, I can just sleep on the couch "

said Kate. " Hell no " said Castle. The look on Kate's face was one

of sheer suprise. " Do you honestly think that I would let you sleep on

that couch " said Castle. " I would never do that " said Castle.

" Are you sure Castle ? " asked Kate. " I don't want to put you out "

said Kate. " I'm positive, and you're not putting me out " said Castle.

" I wouldn't have it any other way " said Castle. " I just feel like I'm

gonna be a burden to you " said Kate.

" Kate would you stop it, I want you here, you're not being a burden,

you're not putting me out, now would you please stop arguing " said

Castle. " Okay Castle you win " said Kate. " Good, so do you wanna

take a nap ? " asked Castle. " Castle what do you think I did the

whole time in the hospital, I'd really like to take a shower, lord knows

what I smell like, but that's not gonna happen " said Kate.

Castle thought over what he was gonna say. He didn't wanna seem

too intrusive, but he knew she needed help and so he spoke up. " I'll

help you " said Castle. " What ? " asked Kate a little embarassed.

" Kate, look, I'm being serious, this isn't some twisted way for me to

get a look at you naked, I really want to help " said Castle.

Kate didn't know what to say. She really wanted to take a shower,

and lord knows she needed one. " Umm, okay Castle " said Kate.

" There is one problem though " she said. " What's that ? " asked

Castle. " I don't have a change of clothes " she said. " Right " said

Castle.

" Umm, well you can borrow a pair of my boxer shorts and a t-shirt, if

that's okay, or I can see if Alexis has something " said Castle. " It's

perfect Castle, thanks " said Kate. " Okay um, well let me get

everything ready for you " said Castle. He went into the bathroom

and got a washcloth and a towel and hung them by the tub. Then

he started the water and made sure it was at the perfect

temperature and added some bubble bath.

He quickly made his way back to his room and rummaged through

his dresser drawers. He found a pair of boxer shorts, and an grey

oversized t-shirt. He laid them out on his bed. He went back out to

Kate. " Okay all set " he said. He wheeled her into the bathroom.

" Umm " said Kate. " How are we gonna do this ? " asked Castle.

"Were both adults, I trust you, just help me get undressed will you."

said Kate. " Okay " said Castle. " Alright then " said Kate. Kate

unbuttoned the button on her pants and unzipped them. Castle

carefully helped to slide them off, then he threw them in the corner.

Kate felt somewhat exposed. Then he helped her with her shirt,

being careful of her injured shoulder. All at once Kate felt very

exposed, vulnerable, and embarassed. Castle didn't let Kate see

the horrified look on his face. He saw the bruises on her stomach

legs, neck, and arms, and wanted to wretch.

Then he unclasped her bra and threw it in the pile with the rest of

her clothes. He knew that Kate must be feeling very akward right

now, and it made him feel even worse. Then he slipped off her

underwear.

He turned of the water. He knew they were both about to feel a

little more akward. " Okay um " said Castle moving his hands trying

to figure out what his next move was. " It's okay Castle, I trust you "

said Kate. " Okay " sighed Castle. She put her hands around his

neck and he lifted her into his arms and gently placed her into the

tub.

When Kate's bare skin touched the water it felt so good that it made

her forget about all her worries for a minute.


	19. Let Her Cry

" Okay, um do you need any help ? " asked Castle. " Uh, not right

now " said Kate. " Okay, I'll be right outside, if you need me just call."

said Castle. " Thanks " said Kate. " No problem " said Castle. As

soon as Castle stepped out and closed the door behind him, Kate

began to wash herself.

She still felt so dirty because of the rape, and she hadn't been able

to take a bath until now. She started to scrub herself hard. It hurt like

hell, but she just felt like she couldn't get clean. She started to fall

from her eyes.

Castle was sitting at his computer. He heard soft cries coming from

the bathroom. He decided to go and check on Kate. He tapped the

door lightly with his knuckles and opened it a crack. " Kate " he said

concerned. " Go away Castle " she said, her voice cracking.

" Kate, I'm coming in " said Castle. He was heartbroken at what he

saw. Kate was scrubbing herself raw as sobs racked her body. He

walked over to her. "Kate, Kate, stop." he said as he tried to get the

washcloth from her. At that moment she just completely broke down.

"I just can't get him off of me." sobbed Kate. "I feel so dirty" she

continued. "I just can't believe that this happened to me" she said.

"Kate, Kate, listen to me" he said taking the rag from her shaking

hand. "It's okay" said Castle. " No, Castle it is not okay,you couldn't

even begin to imagine how this feels, I will have to live with what he

did to me for the rest of my life " said Kate.

"Nobody is ever gonna want me, I am a used up cripple" said Kate

with anger and sadness in her voice. "That's not true Kate, don't you

ever say that" said Castle. "Yes it is Castle" said Kate.

"No it isn't" said Castle. "And just what makes you so sure Castle?"

asked Kate. "Because I want you" he said cupping her chin and

delicately crushing his lips against hers. Kate was completely

caught off guard. Then he broke away.

For a minute there was nothing but akward silence. "Castle...I, I can't

do this right now" said Kate. "I know" said Castle. "Do you need

help ?" asked Castle. " Um yeah, could you help me wash my hair.

"Sure thing" said Castle. He grabbed the bottle of shampoo and

squeezed a palm sized amount of shampoo into his hands and

lathered them up. Then he started rubbing it through her hair and

massaging her scalp.

Then he got a cup of water and little by little rinsed the shampoo out

of her hair. "Okay all done?" asked Castle. " Yeah said Kate.

"Alright" said Castle. He got the towel, wrapped it around her, and

lifted her into his arms. He helped to dry her off, and then helped her

get dressed in the boxer shorts and t-shirt he had picked out for her.

Then he set her back down in the wheelchair. He wheeled her back

in to the living room. "Wow something smells good" he said as the

aroma of whatever it was that Alexis and Martha were cooking wafted

through the air.

"Well thank you darling but Alexis did most of the work" said Martha.

Alexis set the table and put the completed meal on the table. "All

right come and get it" said Alexis. Castle wheeled Kate over to the

table. " Would you be more comfortable in one of these chairs"

asked Castle. " If it's not too much trouble" said Kate. " Not at all"

said Castle.

He lifted Kate out of the wheelchair and set her down in one of the

dining room chairs. She smiled, but felt a little embarassed that she

couldn't even get to her chair by herself, especially since Martha and

Alexis were in the room. They all sat their and ate the meal that

Alexis had prepared. "Alexis this is really great" said Kate. "Thanks"

said Alexis as they both exchanged smiles.

After dinner, Alexis and Martha cleaned up and washed the dishes.

"Does anybody wanna watch a movie?" asked Castle. "Richard I'm

sure Kate would rather get some sleep" said Martha. "No that's

alright Martha" said Kate. "Well alright then dear" said Martha.

"So what are we gonna watch?" asked Alexis. "Well I think Kate

should choose, seeing as how she's our guest, don't you?" asked

Castle. "Okay" said Alexis. "Um, okay" said Kate. "Do you have Mr.

and Mrs. Smith, it's one of my favorites" said Kate. "Of course" said

Castle. "It happens to be one of my favorites too" said Castle. She

smiled at him.

Alexis put in the dvd and plopped down into the reclining chair.

Castle picked up Kate and sat her down on the couch then sat down

beside her. About halfway through the movie Kate started to drift off

to sleep and ended up leaning against Castle's shoulder, and by the

end of the movie was asleep across his lap. Castle didn't want to

wake Kate, because she looked so peaceful. He carefully lifted her

up and carried her to his bed.

He pulled back the covers and layed her down. He kissed her

forehead, turned off the light, and went back into the living room.

Alexis had fallen asleep too, so he turned off the t.v. and carried

Alexis up to her room and put her to bed as well.

Castle got a blanket and a pillow and settled himself on the couch.

After about thirty minutes he managed to slowly drift off to sleep

himself. He awoke to to Kate's voice. "No,no don't, get off of me,no

please" Kate screamed in her sleep. Castle flung the blanket aside

and rushed into his bedroom and over to Kate.

"Kate" he said trying to get her to wake up. "Kate" he said gently

shaking her. "No, no" she screamed striking out at him " Kate" he

said grabbing her wrists and trying to calm her down. Finally she

opened her eyes. "Castle" she said exasperated. "It's okay, you

just had a nightmare" said Castle brushing her hair out of her face.

Her brow was dripping with sweat. "It was happening all over again

and they're wasn't anyhing I could do about it, it was horrible Castle,

I...I...Just" said Kate trying to calm her breathing as more tears

started to form. "It's okay, he's never gonna hurt you again" said

Castle, and I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere" said Castle

reassuringly.

"Will you stay with me?" asked Kate. "As long as you want me to" he

said. He climbed into the opposite side of the bed. She settled back

down into her previous position. He wrapped his arms around her

and after awhile Kate fell asleep feeling safe and secure, with Castle

right by her side.


	20. Closer To Fine

It had been a long night, but now as the light shone through the

curtains Kate began to stir. She immediately felt his arms around her

and remembered that Castle had ended up there the night before.

" Castle " she whispered. " Hmm " he mumbled. " It's morning " she

said. " Mmm " he said. " Come on Castle, wakey wakey " she said

touching his arm.

" Why ? " asked Castle. " That's generally what normal people do "

said Kate. " Yeah well who said I was normal " said Castle. " You got

a point " said Kate. " Yeah, I...hey " said Castle. " Oh come on Castle

you walked right into that one " she said. He slipped his arms from

around Kate, stretched and yawned.

He then looked at the alarm clock. " Do you normally get up at 7:00

A.M. ? " asked Castle. " I guess it's a habit of the job " replied Kate.

Castle chuckled. " Well I guess there's no sense in going back to

sleep now, is there ? " asked Castle. " Guess not " she replied. " I'm

sorry I really didn't mean to wake you up so early... I mean after all

that you've done for me you must be exhausted, and I... " she said

as he cut her off.

" Kate, would you please just stop, it's okay " said Castle. " And

besides Alexis keeps telling me I need to stop being so lazy " said

Castle smiling. " But Castle " she started again. " He held up his

finger. " I don't want ot hear another word on the subject " he said.

" Now, how bout some breakfast ? " asked Castle getting up to head

into the kitchen " Wow, you cook too " she said. " Oh Katherine

Beckett there are so many layers to the Castle onion that you haven't

even begun to uncover " he said grinning. " I'll bet " she replied as

she started to sit up.

" Hey woah, wait a second, let me help you " said Castle. " Castle I

think I can manage " she said. " Are you sure ? " he asked. " Castle,

if things don't work out, I've atleast got to be able to sit up on my own

don't you think " she inquired. " Okay " said Castle heading into the

kitchen. With some difficulty she managed to sit up. " What do you

want ? " hollered Castle from the kitchen. " It doesn't matter " said

Kate.

" Okay, bacon and eggs it is then " said Castle. " Sounds good "

replied Kate from the bedroom. Just then Alexis came rushing down

the stairs, putting her jacket on in the process. " Why didn't

anybody wake me, I am going to be so late " she said. " You want

some breakfast sweetheart ? " asked Castle. " Sorry dad, no time "

replied Alexis. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and grabbed her

back pack and purse. " Bye dad, bye Kate " she yelled rushing out

the door. " Bye Alexis " they both yelled back at her simultaneously.

Castle and Kate silently laughed to themselves. After awhile Castle

had finally finished making breakfast and the coffee to go along with

it. He headed back into the bedroom. " Breakfast is ready " said

Castle. " Great, I'm starving " said Kate. Castle lifted her into the

wheelchair and wheeled her into the kitchen.

" Wow it smells great " said Kate. " Wait til you taste it " said Castle.

He wheeled her over to the table. and then sat down himself. They

started to eat their breakfast. " Wow Castle, not bad " said Kate.

" Thank you " he said. " So is Martha not joining us ? " asked Kate.

" Are you kidding, you couldn't get her up this early for anything short

of a natural disaster " said Castle jokingly. Kate just smiled, obviously

amused.

They finished their breakfast and Castle put the dishes in the

dishwasher. " So what do you want to do today ? " asked Castle.

" You mean you don't have any book signings or parties to go to ? "

asked Kate with a hint of sarcasm. " No, today I'm all yours, do with

me what you will " said Castle in his usual joking manner.

She just gave him one of her usual looks. Then her expression

changed. " Castle, what I'm about to tell you never leaves this room

" said Kate. " Okay " said Castle. She swallowed and then began to

tell him. " I don't want people to see me like this, I feel weak and

humiliated, and I don't want people feeling sorry for me, that's the

last thing I need " said Kate.

" Okay " said Castle. " What ? " asked Kate. " We can stay here, we

don't have to go anywhere if you don't want to " said Castle. " Thanks

I appreciate that Castle " said Kate. He just smiled.

" So you want to watch another movie ? " asked Castle. "I'd love that"

said Kate. " How about this time I let you pick " said Kate. " Okay,

well how about we watch the proposal " said Castle. " Really Castle "

said Beckett. " I mean if you don't want to then, we... " said Castle.

" No, it's cool Castle, I just wouldn't have figured you to be a fan of it"

said Kate. " Like I said there's a lot more to me than meets the eye "

he replied. Beckett just chuckled softly.

Castle put the dvd in and helped Beckett to sit on the couch, and

then they settled in to watch the movie. About halfway through it

Martha came downstairs. She saw Kate and Rick. Richard darling,

what on earth are you doing up already ? " she asked. " Let's just say

I had a wake up call " he said looking at Kate and grinning.

Martha directed her attention toward Kate. " Kate, dear, have I told

you how nice it is having you here " she said smiling. " Thank you

Martha " she said returning the smile. Then Martha went into the

kitchen, and Kate and Rick turned their attention back to the movie.

Finally they finished the movie at around10 A.M. Martha had gone out

and Alexis was at school, so they had the apartment all to

themselves. " I swear Betty White gets me every time " said Kate.

" Yeah she's pretty funny " said Castle. " But how about Sandra

Bullock, I mean she's funny and beautiful " said Castle. " You know

she kind of reminds me of you " said Castle.

At hearing this Kate blushed and got butterflies in her stomach. "

Wow, um... thank you Castle " she said. " No problem " said Castle.

" So what do you wanna do now ? " asked Castle. " I suppose going

to the precinct is out of the question ? " inquired Kate. " It's not up to

me, but you know Montgomery would have my head if I let you

anywhere near that place " said Castle. " Look, I know everyone's

trying to protect me and that they're worried, but I am going to go stir

crazy around here soon " said Kate. " I just need to get back to work,

it helps clear my head " said Kate.

" I know how much you want to just dive right back into things, but it's

going to take some time " said Castle. " But I promise you I am

going to help you, and you'll be back at work before you know it "

said Castle. " Okay " said Kate softly. " Okay " said Castle as they

exchanged smiles.

" What do you say we just sit, and I'll turn on some music " said

Castle. " Sounds perfect " said Kate as she leaned against Castle's

chest. He turned on the stereo and the lyrics to Amos Lee's

" Flower " drifted through the air. Castle snaked his arm around her

and just held her.

At this moment Kate felt completely content, despite all that had

happened. She knew that as long as she was with Castle that

everything would be okay. She wanted so badly to tell Castle what

she had been keeping bottled up inside these past three years that

they had been partners, yet she just couldn't bring herself to, atleast

not just yet. So she decided to take in the moment, because for

once in her life she had never felt safer.


	21. Love is Endless

They stayed that way for about two hours and eventually fell asleep.

Castle was awoken by the sound of the doorbell ringing. " Mmm "

mumbled Kate. Castle turned off the stereo. He carefully

maneuvered himself off the couch so as not to wake up Kate.

He headed to the door and looked through the peep hole. He smiled

when he saw who it was. He opened the door. " Castle, hey bro

how's it going ? " said Esposito as he and Ryan came inside. Castle

held up a finger to his lips. " Shhh, she's sleeping " he said. " No I'm

not " said Kate sitting up from her previous position on the couch.

" Dude you woke her up " said Ryan nudging Esposito. " Dude " said

Esposito. " Guys " she said interrupting their bro fight. They turned

their attention back to her. " I don't mean to interrupt your bro fight,

but it's okay, I was partially awake anyway, Castle snores " she said

flashing a grin his way.

" I do not " said Castle pretending to be insulted. Ryan and Esposito

laughed. " You kind of do Castle " said Kate trying to keep from

laughing. " Well okay maybe just a little " said Castle. " A little, you

sound like a fog horn trying to bring ships in " said Kate. " Hey " said

Castle. " But I guess I do " said Castle. They laughed. " Okay, okay,

joke's over " said Castle.

" So what brings you by, you guys playing hookey ? " asked Castle.

" No, it's just a slow day " said Esposito. " But hey, we brought

Chinese and some brewskys " said Ryan. " Alright, bring it on " said

Castle. Esposito and Ryan put the food and the beers on the kitchen

counter. " Hey Beckett you want some ? " asked Esposito.

" How can I say no to chinese and a cold brewsky " said Beckett. "

" Alright, let's eat " said Ryan. They got the food and the beers and

took them into the living room. Castle sat back down next to Beckett

and Ryan and Esposito sat in the chairs on either side of the couch.

Then they all dug in.

...Some hours later...

" Okay, no , I swear it really happened like that " said Esposito. " So

let me get this straight, you and Lanie were playing baseball and she

just hit the ball right into your head " inquired Castle. " Yep " said

Esposito. " Purposely ? " asked Castle. " Yep " said Esposito.

" Why ? " asked Kate. " Well " said Esposito, hesitating. " Come on

spill bro " said Ryan.

" I might have said something " said Esposito. " Oh boy, what did

say ? " asked Kate. " Well I was really into the game and she hadn't

hit a ball the whole game, and I really don't like to lose " said

Esposito. " And " inquired Castle. " And I told her if she didn't hit that

one that she was walking home " said Esposito. " Dude are you

crazy " said Castle. " Let me clue you in, first of all the woman is

always right, second the man always apologizes, and third, don't ever

say anything stupid because you will regret it " continued Castle.

" Oh and you're an expert bro " said Esposito. " You the king of the

bachelors " said Esposito. " Hey trust me, having been in as many

failed relationships as I have, I am an expert at what makes women

tick " said Castle. "Ahmm" grunted Kate. " With you being the one

exception, there are still oh so many things about you that are still a

mystery to me " said Castle. " Smooth man " mouthed Esposito and

Ryan. " I saw that " said Kate. Ryan and Esposito just shrunk down in

their chairs and were quiet.

They talked for awhile longer. " Well we gotta get going " said Ryan.

" See ya Beckett, later Castle " they said. " Bye " replied Castle and

Beckett. Then Ryan and Esposito headed out the door, leaving

Castle and Beckett alone again, for about a minute, as Alexis walked

in the door.

" Hey sweetheart " said Castle. Instead of greeting him back, she

threw her bag down on the floor and ran angrily upstairs. " What was

that all about ? " asked Kate. " I don't know " replied Castle worriedly.

" Give me a minute, I'm gonna got talk to her " said Castle. " Sure, do

what you gotta do " said Beckett. Castel then went upstairs. He went

to open Alexis' door but found that it was locked.

" Alexis sweetheart open up " said Castle. " No go away " she said

tearfully. " Come on sweety please " said Castle. Alexis hesitated

but then Castle heard movement on the other side of the door as

she unlocked it. Then he went in to find Alexis in tears sitting on her

bead. He went over and sat down beside her. " Alexis sweety, what's

wrong ? " asked Castle concerned. " Nothing, okay " replied Alexis.

" Sweeatheart " said Castle prodding. " I... I just don't wanna talk

about it okay " said Alexis. " Alexis, please " pleaded Castle. " I don't

wanna talk to you about it, I'll only talk to Detective Beckett " she

said. " Okay " he said. " I'll stay here and you go down stairs and

talk, alright " said Castle. " Okay " said Alexis wiping the tears from

her eyes. Then she headed down stairs and headed over to Kate.

" Hey Alexis " greeted Kate. " Can we talk ? " asked Alexis. " Sure,

sit down " said Kate. Alexis then sat down beside Kate. " So, what's

up ? " asked Kate. Alexis Hesitated a minute then began. " It's

ashley " said Alexis. " Your boyfriend, what about him ? " asked Kate.

" There's a rumor going around school that I had sex with him " said

Alexis. " Oh " said Kate. " Yeah, and when I asked him about it, he

told me that he didn't know anything about it " said Alexis.

" So you think he's lying ? " asked Kate. " I don't know, that's what's

killing me " said Alexis. " I want to believe him, but I just cant', I mean

that rumor had to start somewhere, and... " said Alexis. " And boys

are notorious for saying they scored to boost their rep " said Kate.

" Exactly " said Alexis.

"So what happened after you confronted him ? " asked Kate. " I was

so humiliated, and so mad, that I...I broke up with him " said Alexis.

" Oh, I'm sorry " said Kate. " And now I feel even more horrible, I

mean, what if he was telling me the truth " said Alexis. " What should

I do ? " asked Alexis. " Wow that's a tough one " said Kate. " The

question you have to ask yourself, is do you really love him and trust

him " said Kate. " And if the answer is yes then you should try and fix

things " said Kate.

" I guess I do, I don't know why I thought he would spread something

like that, I'm gonna go call him, thanks Detective Beckett " said

Alexis as she gently hugged Kate. " Anytime " said Kate. Then with

that, Alexis rushed upstairs.

" So how'd it go with Detective Beckett ? " asked Castle. " Great "

said Alexis digging in her purse for her cell phone. " And that's all I'm

telling you " said Alexis. " Fair enough " said Castle. Then he headed

back downstairs to join Kate. He sat down beside her. She was

leaning against the armrest of the couch. " So what did Alexis talk to

you about ? " asked Castle nonchalantly. " Forget it Castle, I'm not

telling you " said Castle. " Oh, come on, don't I have a right to know

what's going on with my daughter ? " he asked. " Castle, there's

really no cause for concern, she just had a bad day at school and

needed to vent about it, plus it's just easier to talk to another

woman when it comes to certain things " said Kate.

" Okay, message received " said Castle. "Good " said Kate yawning.

" Now if you'll exscuse me I think I'm due for a nap " said Kate.

" Well let me help you with that " said Castle. " No, that's okay Castle,

" I'll be fine right here " said Kate. " I'm sure you would, but you're

going to sleep on the bed " said Castle. " I guess there's no arguing

with you, is there Castle ? " asked Kate. " Absolutely not " said

Castle. Kate snaked her arms around his neck and he carried her to

the bedroom.


	22. Chances Are

Castle pulled back the covers and gently layed Kate down on the

bed. As he turned to go, Kate grabbed his arm. " Castle " said Kate.

" Yeah ? " inquired Castle. " You can stay if you want " she said,trying

not to make it sound like she needed him to stay. " Okay " said

Castle. He went around to the other side of the bed and layed down.

They layed their in silence for awhile until Castle spoke up. " Kate "

he said. " Yeah Castle ? " she inquired. " You know I'll always be

here right ? " asked Castle. " Yeah Castle, I know " said Kate.

" Goodnight Castle " said Kate. " Sweet dreams Kate " said Castle.

Then they both drifted off to sleep. Around 8:30 Martha came in the

door. " Kate, Richard darling " she called out, though not very loudly

in case they had went to bed. She walked into Castle's room and

what she saw made her smile. Castle's arms were around Kates

waist and he was holding her close. She went to the closet and got

an extra blanket, and covered Richard up with it, Then she went in to

check on Alexis and headed to bed herself. The next morning Kate

woke up and Castle wasn't there.

Martha walked in and seeing that Kate had an inquisitive look on her

face. " Kate dear, he went to your apartment to get some of your

things, he should be back shortly " said Martha. " Oh " said Kate.

Then they heard the front door open. " And on that note " said

Martha as Castle came back into view. She left exited the room,

leaving them alone " Well good morning detective " said Castle

smiling. " Morning Castle " she said yawning.

" I figured you might be needing a couple of things " he said.

" Thanks Castle, I appreciate it " replied Kate. " No problem " said

Castle. He sat the bags down in the corner of the room. " We should

get going pretty soon " said Castle. " Get going where ? " inquired

Kate. " You have physical therapy today " said Castle. " Great now

more people can see how helpless I am " said Kate somewhat

bitterly. " Kate why do you think like that " he said. " Castle in case

you didn't happen to notice I can't go anywhere unless somebody

carries me like a little child, or without that damn chair " she said.

Castle had had just about enough. " Kate I can't do this anymore,I

am trying my best because I care about you, but how can I keep this

up, if you can't just have a little faith,or feel good about yourself " he

said in somewhat of a raised voice. " Keep what up Castle ? " asked

Kate. " This charade, trying to keep your spirits up, make like

everythings gonna be okay, when the truth is I don't know what's

going to happen and that scares the hell out of me " he said and then

paused a second.

Their eyes met for a second and tears started to form in her eyes.

" And why the hell would you be scared ? " asked Kate. Castle

hesitated a moment. " Because I want you to be happy, because I

can't stand to see you hurting, and most importantly I just don't want

to lose you " said Castle. " Can't you see that, we've been partners

for 3 years now, did you honestly think that I stayed this long for

more research Kate ? " he asked rhetorically. He continued. " I

mean...did you really believe that that kiss we shared when we were

undercover was really just for that purpose only, or when... " he got

out before she cut him off. " Okay Castle I get it " she said. " Let me

finish " he said.

She looked at him astonishingly. " No Kate, you don't get it, I...I can't

hide my feelings anymore, I...I love you Kate, so much " he said.

Kate felt like her heart would beat out of her chest and her stomach

was in knots. " Castle, don't...don't say that " said Kate sobbing.

" Why, can you please tell me why it bothers you so much when I

pour out my heart and soul to you " said Castle. " You want to know

why, because I don't deserve you Castle, because I care about you

to much to let you ruin your life to have to take care of me if things

don't turn out, because I'm afraid of getting hurt, and... " she

hesitated. " I can't risk our friendship if it doesn't work out, but most

importantly, I'm in love with you and that scares the hell out of me "

said Kate.

Castle could not believe what she was saying. Had he heard her

right, had Katherine Beckett really just admitted that she was in love

with him. " What...what did you just say ? " he asked rhetorically.

" Come on Castle, please don't make me say it again " she said.

" Kate " said Castle. " I said I'm in love with you, okay, are you happy

now " she said. " Yes,very " he said getting closer. He sat down on

the bed beside her. He cupped her cheek with his hand. " Kate, look

at me " he said reassuringly. She turned her head to face him. He

wiped away the remnants of any tears that had fallen down her

cheeks and leaned into kiss her. This time instead of pulling away,

she gave into her feelings and kissed him back as he ran his fingers

through her hair. After about a minute they broke apart.

" Kate, I am not Demming, and I am certainly not Josh, I know that

you are afraid to trust someone again, but do you really want to look

back and have any regrets, I'm scared too, but I don't want to wait

until it's too late, life's to short, and that's why I am willing to try " said

Castle. " Are you willing to try Kate ? " asked Castle. She was still

reeling from the mix of emotions she was feeling and the kiss. " I...I,

I don't think I could say no after all of that " she said a little teary. " So

is that a yes " inquired Castle. " If you're willing and crazy

enough to want to be with me, then I guess I'm crazy enough to say

yes " replied Kate.

" Really, you're not playing games with me right ? " he asked. " No,

Castle, no I'm not playing games, I am so tired of dancing in circles

around each other, I mean you can't even imagine what a relief it is

to just admit to everything and get it off my chest " she replied.

" Trust me, I can " he said. " Come here " he said pulling her to him

and passionately crushing his lips against hers. Then they pulled

apart again. " Castle I'm not going anywhere, they'll be plenty of time

for that later " she said smiling. " Yeah, well " he said. " Come on,

we should get going, don't want to be late and give the therapists

a bad first impression of you " said Castle. " Yeah, we'd hate to do

that wouldn't we " asked Kate rhetorically.

He helped her to get dressed and then settled her down into her

chair. They took the elevator downstairs and Castle hailed a cab. He

helped Kate into the cab and loaded up the chair, got in himself and

they were on their way.


	23. If I Get Up I Might Fall Back Down Again

As castle wheeled Kate into the hospital, she couldn't help but feel like everyone was

starring at her even though they clearly weren't. She just felt so uncomfortable, like everyone

saw her as a cripple and nothing more. Castle, at noticing her insecurity, gave her shoulder a

reassuring squeeze. She looked at him and forced a tiny smile. He wheeled her into the rehabilitation wing of the hospital, where they were greeted by a friendly blonde woman, who looked to be about Kate's age. "Hello, you must be Mr. Castle" she said greeting him. He shook her hand. "And, so this must be Kate" she said, smiling. Kate held out her hand awkwardly. It seemed to her, that by this woman's tone, it was as if she thought that she was speaking to a child, and this perturbed her, somewhat. "It's so nice to meet you, I'm Josephine Finlay, but most people just call me Jo" she said, greeting Kate. Kate forced a miniscule smile. "Detective Kate Beckett" Kate greeted back. "Okay, so what do you say, we get started, Kate" said Jo.

"Sure, I guess" said Kate. "Alright then; I can take it from here Mr. Castle" said Jo. "If it's all the same to you, I'd prefer to stay" said Castle, a little hurt and taken aback at the nerve of this woman, asking him to leave. "Mr. Castle with all due respect, I can appreciate the fact that you want to stay with Detective Beckett, but I've found that better results are achieved from a one on one environment; so if you wouldn't mind to leave us to it for a couple of hours, I assure you she will be well taken care of" said Jo. "Kate?" Castle inquired. "Go Castle, I'll be fine she said, patting his hand. " Are you sure?" asked Castle. "Yeah" said Kate. "Okay" said Castle bending down and planting a kiss on her forehead. "We should be done in about 2 hours, Mr. Castle" said Jo. Castle nodded to Jo. "I'll be back in 2" said Castle addressing Kate. Kate nodded, and watched Castle as he walked down the corridor and disappeared through the double doors. Jo started to push Kate toward the physical therapy area. Once there, Jo bent down and locked the wheels in place. "Okay, so what were gonna do today is just talk, assess the extent of the work that needs to be done, and come up with a workout plan" said Jo. "Sound's good" said Kate somewhat disdainfully. Jo was picking up on Kate's uncomfortable demeanor. "Look, Kate, I realize that this isn't easy for you" said Jo. "Let me stop you right there, if this is a pep talk, you're pretty much just stating the obvious" said Kate. "I'm not sure I follow" said Jo. "Of course this isn't easy for me" said Kate almost yelling. "Kate, believe me, I understand exactly how you feel" she started. At hearing this Kate became very upset. " You understand how I feel, so you've been shot in the abdomen, almost died, been paralyzed, and forced to use a wheelchair, without knowing if you're ever gonna be able to walk again" said Kate in a raised voice. Jo just stood there silently for a minute. She sat down on the floor and pulled up her pants leg, only to reveal a prosthetic leg. Kate immediately regretted the statement she had made and was about to apologize, when Jo stopped her. "You didn't know, there's no need for apologies, I'm a big girl" said Jo. "I don't mean to pry, but how did it happen?" asked Kate, treading lightly. "I was 19, attending NYU on a soccer scholarship. There was this party one night, and I wasn't gonna go because I had an early practice the next morning, but my friend talked me into it. I guess it must have been about 12:00 A.M. when I left. So I hopped on my Ducati and headed back to the campus." explained Jo. Kate could tell that she was trying to keep from crying. Then Jo continued. "I was so tired; I could barely keep my eyes open. A drunk driver tore through the intersection and hit me head on, I never saw it coming. After that I don't remember much; the next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital, and my mom breaking the news to me that I had lost my right leg just below the knee and realizing that my days of being a soccer star were over" said Jo. "For a while I was bitter, I was angry at the world, angry at God, even angry at myself, I was completely unmotivated and all I did was lay around and feel sorry for myself" said Jo. "But then something happened, that changed my whole perspective. My mom had insisted I start my physical therapy, and I really didn't wanna go but she made me. When we got there the therapist was just finishing up with another patient, a little girl, she couldn't have been more than 7 or 8 years old. I saw her fall a couple of times as she was going through the exercises, but she never gave up, she kept getting back up every time, she was so determined. Later, I remember asking the therapist what had happened to the little girl. She explained to me that the young girl had been playing out in the yard one day and had and accident with a lawn mower. That really made me realize how messed up it was for me to be wallowing in self-pity. I realized that if she could do it, then what excuse did I have" said Jo. "That little girl was my inspiration, so that's when I decided that I wanted to make a difference, I wanted to help people, so I decided to become a physical therapist" Jo continued. This really made Kate think about her whole situation. "Wow, that's really commendable" said Kate. "I didn't do it for the praise or recognition, but thank you. So are you ready to get started?" asked Jo. "Let's do this" said Kate smiling.


End file.
